Familiar Place

I actually wrote this, standing at Ross the other day. I was in charge of the fitting room for several hours (glorious job, I know). I came back to this same place that I worked before Australia, because I felt like God wasn't done using me there yet; and it's been interesting, that's for sure. Making new memories in an old place-not knowing what the ultimate purpose is... I get very restless, and so I began to write in my in-between times to keep me sane. This particular blog relates-literally to my job, but on a broader scale-my life in its current state...

Here I am once again standing in this familiar place, just waiting.

Waiting for my purpose to unfold and interact with

the people I see every day.

There-it was one smile-could this possibly make the difference?

Is what I do on a daily basis actually anything important?

You respond with, "How could it not be." But I'm still struggling to see it.

To see through my blindness-I try too hard to discover truths

When I could depend on Your sight and Your revelations to me.

Everyone deals with the sting that insignificance makes you feel.

Help me not to compare myself-my life-

to the person next to me, in front of me, and behind.

I get so bored-so restless and frustrated, that it forces me

to keep checking the clock.

But knowing what time it is won't change what it is

-just another worry.

And what is worry? Worry is more of a burden

than the actual burden you're worried about!

Is this a joke? I want to know if anyone

has mastered this "balanced life" --

The life of true care for loved ones

and for the world in need

whist enjoying that of a carefree,

dance in the street, sleep on the beach,

try something new everyday life.

Is that not what You want for me anyway?
I know it makes You smile when I laugh.

And it makes me smile when I can hear Your laughter.

I love picturing Your face.

Jesus, do You ever get recognized

for Your sense of humor?

I love this simple fact.

You were human--experiencing

everything I do with friends-

The sarcasm, the pranks, the friendly teasing

-just for kicks.

The early morning grogginess

and late night delirium.

I truly wish to know You.

I mean REALLY know who You are, why You are-

Not just what You are- not just know of You or about You.

No, I want You.

I want the--behind-the-scenes, real, raw, nothing to hide--

relationship with You.

So, here I am once again standing in this familiar place, just waiting.

Waiting for You-now. Reveal to me now. Teach me now. I love you now.

I'm waiting now--I'm ready.